Friday, December 08, 2006
Good Corners and Paint
Scott Ginsberg wrote yesterday about painting ourselves into good corners. He means that it's not always a bad thing to get rid of the negative options in our lives and force ourselves to be held to a standard we make public. Usually painting yourself into a corner means you're out of options with nowhere to go and Scott points out that we always think that is a bad thing when it doesn't have to be. We can paint ourselves into corners that force us to make right decisions. You should read his post for some examples. Though I don't think anyone should go tattoo themselves with their ideals, the point is a good one.
Most of you that come to websites we operate are trying to make positive changes in your lives. We can all paint ourselves into corners that force us to make the decisions we know are right and that we had previously committed to making. A teenage guy struggling with an addiction can set up the situations in which he finds himself so that no other options are available except to resist temptation. Deciding ahead of time what kinds of parties you'll go to, which friends you'll hang out with, what time you'll be home, etc are all part of painting yourself into a good corner. Most of the rules parents give their children are not so much about control as they are about the corners in which we find ourselves. Even dressing modestly is an attempt to make a public declaration about the type of person you are and the activities in which you will and will not engage. Options are good, but once you've decided, remove the options that you know will not make you happy in the end. Surround yourself with good people and good situations and you might be surprised how difficult you can make it to slip too far. So try and think about where the good corners are in your life. Where are the places that would be a good place to be forced into? And then try and think about what the paint is that will keep you from wandering from those corners. For a lot of people the paint will commitments (public or private), friends, ground rules, and adult influences (parents, leaders, etc).
I can think of two authors that would agree, both Barry Schwartz with The Paradox of Choice and Dan Gilbert with Stumbling Upon Happiness.
Most of you that come to websites we operate are trying to make positive changes in your lives. We can all paint ourselves into corners that force us to make the decisions we know are right and that we had previously committed to making. A teenage guy struggling with an addiction can set up the situations in which he finds himself so that no other options are available except to resist temptation. Deciding ahead of time what kinds of parties you'll go to, which friends you'll hang out with, what time you'll be home, etc are all part of painting yourself into a good corner. Most of the rules parents give their children are not so much about control as they are about the corners in which we find ourselves. Even dressing modestly is an attempt to make a public declaration about the type of person you are and the activities in which you will and will not engage. Options are good, but once you've decided, remove the options that you know will not make you happy in the end. Surround yourself with good people and good situations and you might be surprised how difficult you can make it to slip too far. So try and think about where the good corners are in your life. Where are the places that would be a good place to be forced into? And then try and think about what the paint is that will keep you from wandering from those corners. For a lot of people the paint will commitments (public or private), friends, ground rules, and adult influences (parents, leaders, etc).
I can think of two authors that would agree, both Barry Schwartz with The Paradox of Choice and Dan Gilbert with Stumbling Upon Happiness.
