In Bryce Courtenay's The Power of One, an individual tries to teach the main character the importance of thinking and planning rationally rather than just acting on impulse and emotion. He says,

"Say always to yourself, 'First with the head and then with the heart, that's how a man stays ahead from the start.'"

This is part of the reasoning for a goal program that focuses on behavior first. As talked about in another post, many individuals need to separate themselves from the behavior before they can allow themselves to have a change of heart. As long as they are caught in the trap of their mistakes, they seem to believe that nothing can be done for them. Not only that, but unless someone is completely humble, they will most likely resort back to the behavior after a time if they have not learned how to stay away from it. What is the most effective way? Of course for believers in a higher power, it is to be completely humble and learn from Diety step by step. He knows you specifically and knows what your need in a way that no one else can know but by inspiration. But He has also given you the ability to think ahead and make Him a part of your planning. I believe that forward thinking is a skill that we need to learn in this life, especially if we hope to become more like Him. Planning for the future and future situations is simply preparing ourselves so that we aren't fooled by what might be in our hearts at that time.

The other night, I was sitting on a high point overlooking the BYU campus when I was hit with a profound sense of gratitude for the way my life has turned out. I thought about all of the different roads I could have taken and then about my decision to come to BYU and the change that it's had on my life. I was also deeply grateful for an education that allows me to help more and in better ways as I learn. I'm grateful for a Church that would pour so much money into such an institution. Today, while reflecting on those feelings, I thought that maybe we as students oversimplify the school's purpose as that of providing us with an education. It seems like there are so many school resources devoted to helping faculty perform and publish research and other material, that there might be something else in addition to our own education that merits all of those tithing dollars. By publishing, we in essence share our knowledge and learning so that the rest of the world can grow and learn too. Education itself, not just of the students, but of the world or at least the academic community, might be another purpose of Brigham Young University. With ORCA grants, it seems like there is a strong push for students to become researchers also. I've had numerous religion professors and even heard of President Samuelson speaking on becoming disciple scholars. I think that the way we learn is what they're trying to infuse in us. Presenting what we call the "Culture of Inquiry," I learned that it is extremely important to the Church and the school that we become thinkers rather than accepters. A culture of inquiry does not replace action, because the Lord expects us to accept some things on faith first, but to want to know why and to know the purposes behind it and to want to know the effects of it is probably a good thing and will help us to understand it better. I hope that everyone using the programs questions why we ask the questions we do and why we ask them to do what we're asking them to do. By learning these principles, they might more fully understand how to implement them. And we are definitely not finished learning here at the site. Everyday I hear things from professors or others that make me think there is more we should be doing or better ways of doing it.

Just the other week it came to my attention that despite so many warnings, parents are still allowing their children access to computers in private. This can mean when the parents aren't home or in a separated room. Parents might well be horrified if they found out what their children were doing. I know you want to trust your kids. But with some things, it's not worth the risk. And these are good kids that we're dealing with on this site. I once had a Bishop say that good people get into bad things. Your children are good people. But even a good person falls when temptation is thrown at them with such consistency and accuracy as it's done on the internet. How do you know? Parents - Download the Blocker available in our Resources Section. This web blocker allows you to see every web page visited and the history can't be erased without the password. Feel like you're spying? Your kids are telling us that they wish you'd do something to remove the temptation. They can't seem to find the strength to tell you, they're afraid you'll be disgusted with them. But they're struggling and really need your help. Rare is the circumstance that would merit having a computer in a child's room. Even if he or she is the most trustworthy of all your children. And don't think that putting the computer in a public room does anything if there is a scheduled time often when the child is home alone. Dads in particular, talk to your sons about certain temptations that they will inevitably face. So many of these problems seem to stem from a boy's curiosity about things that are normal, but make him feel like he's different from everyone else. If you have any specific questions, email us at PeerHelpGroups@gmail.com. My name is Dan and I'd be happy to discuss specifics. Your sons have a lot of questions.

I recently began making a sociogram for an organization with which I am affiliated. I found the results quite amazing, but was burdened by the process. I've searched and can't seem to find any program that will build a sociogram for you. I have one that will let me do it by hand after I've collected the data, but nothing to actually build one for me. I'm also looking for a relatively low-priced program that will take our information from an SQL database and produce graphs. I know of a company, corda.com, that supposedly produces some very extremely dynamic graphs, but, of course, you have to pay for what's good. I hope to provide graphs that show the progress of individuals using the goal setting program, for their own personal viewing only. Right now, no one using the goal program can see their past results, which can be disheartening I imagine. So, that's what we're working on.

Today's priesthood lesson in our ward was on service. As we talked about the different kinds of service that we have the opportunity to perform, the discussion turned to why service is important. Numerous true principles were brought up. One topic discussed was how serving other people helps us to overcome our own problems. Some elders even said that they believed it was the only way to overcome your any problem. I immediately began thinking of the Advice and Mentor programs. That was the basic philosophy behind the Mentor program, but I wonder if it still serves the original purpose. In the Advice Program, one is able to request advice or support from those that are signed up in the Mentor Program (so the two programs are connected). We used to have an application process in order for someone to become a mentor. While the mentors did not receive any training, it just helped to keep things under control. However because of the principle that was previously mentioned, we thought that it would be important for anyone struggling to be able to reach out and help others. So now, anyone can be a mentor. We still review their responses to make sure that they are giving sound advice. In theory, it seems like that could bring about amazing results, but of course, it all depends on the condition of the heart while serving. This is true for any service rendered. We have some mentors who respond begrudgingly and never see the great opportunity that they have to reach into someone else's life and help those who are where the mentors once were (or maybe still are). Most mentors seem to love the opportunity that they have to serve and have openly stated the great difference that it has made in their efforts to gain strength against temptation. Often, they give the best advice to others that they themselves have been looking for.


Another topic covered was why serving seems to be difficult for us? Common responses regarded the selfish nature of mankind, especially at a time in our lives when we seem to focus on ourselves constantly. The majority in the room were returned missionaries and had experienced completely turning their lives over in service to others and the Lord and the incomparable joy that results from such selfless service. I think it's something that we long for but feel constrained because of the requirements placed on us to get a good education and provide for a future family. While this is true, we must proceed with extreme caution because I would even say that selfishness is addictive and can easily lead someone down a slippery slope of spiritual destruction. There is an addictive cycle when one focuses on themselves and notices that they are not as happy as they used to be. Upon realizing that, the reaction determines what will happen with the spirituality of the individual. Do they follow the Lord's plan and turn and serve others to pull themselves out of the slump that they're in or do they focus on themselves even more and try to find their what they're unfulfilled needs are as the world teaches. One focuses on others and another focuses on self. The result can be quite a difference. I believe that we need to strategically place check points throughout our week where we will force ourselves to serve others so that our mind set shifts to those around us. Ideally, this would happen multiple times a day to make sure that we aren't drifting towards selfishness. But for starters one might say that they will spend an hour, one day a week, doing something for those they home teach, or visit others in their ward, etc. This will help us to realize where our focus has been. This goes along with being "Quick to Observe" and gaining the spirit of discernment as Elder Bednar recently taught at a BYU devotional. These strategic checkpoints may be the greatest reason for personal, daily scripture study and prayer, weekly covenant renewals, at least monthly temple visits, and keeping a reminder of temple covenants on us at all times. Set up checkpoints for yourself that will help you to keep your mind set on the importance of those around you and the importance of serving to lift them up to higher levels.

Some have been commenting through emails and comments on the blog about the Wiki and Discussion Board situation. I think that it would be a good time to review the purposes of each so that we're using them for the right reason. The purpose behind a Wiki is to provide the best information on a subject or issue. The philosophy behind the way this is accomplished is that the aggregation of many individual views will result in the best possible solution. The purpose of a threaded discussion board (also called discussion board, bulletin board, or forum) is to provide an area for question and answer to specific situations and to enable on-going conversations on a given topic, all for public viewing so that others can benefit from the material discussed without actually participating. While you may not agree with these philosophies or even agree that these are the purposes of the two items mentioned, this is how Peer Help Groups will be approaching the matter. The Wiki start with content that has already been collected. The Discussion Boards will begin with individuals leading the subjects on a given topic, as mentioned in the last blog entry. The reason for this is that the discussion boards will also be used as a resource for those using the site. It will give the individuals a place to go where they can participate in discussions and topics that are both "spiritually strengthening" and "intellectually enlarging," to borrow from BYU's AIMS. Are there other resources available for these purposes? Yes, of course. And as we continue on with the developments at the site, without a doubt, we'll be adding more.

Just a quick note, you may have noticed that we've add an RSS Feed. You can download a Feed Reader or use the personalized Google Desktop. We will also soon be issuing a feed for the Wiki. This will allow to see any updates that occur in the blog or the Wiki.

New Logo: We'd like to develop a new logo that will be used in many different areas. The logo will be for all of the Peer Help Groups websites (5). Any submissions will be welcomed, just send them to PeerHelpGroups@gmail.com.


Thanks.

Well, the Wiki is up. We want to begin with some information in the sections to which people can add and edit. We have not yet finished transferring the information, but you are welcome to begin using it. While a lot of the information can also be found in the Resources Section, we are also introducing new resources in the Wiki that will not be found in the Resources section of the website. I hope that wasn't confusing. It also might be a good time to introduce a concept that was sent out in the newsletter this past weekend. We are going to introduce the concept of site moderators. We currently have mentors that respond to other individuals problems or questions. Moderators will review these responses to check for content. Moderators will also provide assistance to those in the Goal Setting Program who request help. No email addresses will be shared in the goal setting program. Our reasoning is that Peer Help Groups is growing too large to be handled by the site administration and there are other advances in the site that will require our attention if they are going to occur. We have a long list of things we are working on. Another change is the threaded discussion boards. We will host two different weekly conversations on the boards. One will deal with a particular conference talk each week and the other will deal with a particular reading in the Book of Mormon, in an effort to meet Pres. Hinckley's challenge to the Saints. We have also switched email addresses to peerhelpgroups@gmail.com. This will be a long transition. PeerHelpGroups.com, which will be for the general LDS audience, will be ready within the next week, hopefully. Any questions can be sent to our email or contact us link in any of the main pages.

We just finished a really good General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There were a few talks that made me think about some things we should consider doing at the site. There were four things in particular that I came up with.

First, after Elder Bednar's talk in the Priesthood Session, I thought that we aren't doing enough for the Preparing Missionaries of the Church. We can provide a lot more resources for them specifically and emphasize the training that the Church has already put into place for them. They can build a network amongst themselves and receive the peer support that they need. We already have the site FutureMissionaries.com, but this only acts as a front for the Teen Help Site.

Second, there are many times that parents come to our site looking for resources on how to help their children. Why don't we build a site for them, with their own resources and the ability to communicate amongst themselves and receive support and ideas from eachother. I don't believe that it would be very difficult.

Third, I think it might have been Elder Soares' talk, but in Sunday Afternoon session, one of the Seventy spoke on the importance of Covenants. I don't have it worked out in my mind yet, but we need something that helps to remind individuals or the covenants that they have already made and keeps them looking forward to the ones that they will still make. I don't know if we're talking about a new program or just another resource, but I'm leaning towards program if I could figure it out in my mind. Any thoughts are definitely welcome.

Fourth, Elder Paul Johnson of the Seventy spoke on the importance of General Conference and how that Ensign issue, or Conference Report, can be a modern day Liahona for us. I think we should use the Threaded Discussion Boards to have a weekly review of a conference talk. We'll post the link to it and spend the week studying that talk and posting what we've learned. We can still have one forum open for past problems and responses, and we can put more of those up, we just won't separate them into different forums. I think it's a good idea and even if we only get a few participating, it'll be worth it for them.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. I set it up so that anyone can now post instead of just other Blogger users. We love working with you. Have a good one.